Ebook I Am Nobody: Confronting the Sexually Abusive Coach Who Stole My Life, by Greg Gilhooly

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I Am Nobody: Confronting the Sexually Abusive Coach Who Stole My Life, by Greg Gilhooly

Ebook I Am Nobody: Confronting the Sexually Abusive Coach Who Stole My Life, by Greg Gilhooly

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Review

"It takes a lot of courage to find your own voice. This book is all about courage and the willingness to move forward. Thank you Greg for your courage. May this process bring you peace."—Theo Fleury, NHL Stanley Cup Champion and author of Playing with Fire (2017-11-01)"I Am Nobody is an honest, tragic account of child sexual abuse and a powerful resource for individuals struggling with recovery. Gilhooly clearly highlights the shortcomings of the Canadian justice system’s approach; hopefully, one day, the punishment will fit the crime."—Sheldon Kennedy, former NHL player and author of Why I Didn't Say Anything (2017-11-01)"Greg Gilhooly stands among the brightest of the thousands of athletes I have profiled. He is definitely the bravest. This book is required sports reading."—Roy MacGregor, Globe and Mail columnist and author of The Home Team: Fathers, Sons and Hockey (2017-11-01)

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Review

"It takes a lot of courage to find your own voice. This book is all about courage and the willingness to move forward. Thank you Greg for your courage. May this process bring you peace."—Theo Fleury, NHL Stanley Cup Champion and author of Playing with Fire"Greg Gilhooly stands among the brightest of the thousands of athletes I have profiled. He is definitely the bravest. This book is required sports reading."—Roy MacGregor, Globe and Mail columnist and author of The Home Team: Fathers, Sons and Hockey"I Am Nobody is an honest, tragic account of child sexual abuse and a powerful resource for individuals struggling with recovery. Gilhooly clearly highlights the shortcomings of the Canadian justice system’s approach; hopefully, one day, the punishment will fit the crime."—Sheldon Kennedy, former NHL player and author of Why I Didn't Say Anything"Greg Gilhooly stands among the brightest of the thousands of athletes I have profiled. He is definitely the bravest. This book is required sports reading.”—Roy MacGregor, Globe and Mail columnist and author of The Home Team: Fathers, Sons and Hockey

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Product details

Hardcover: 288 pages

Publisher: Greystone Books (March 6, 2018)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1771642459

ISBN-13: 978-1771642453

Product Dimensions:

6.3 x 1 x 9.1 inches

Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

5.0 out of 5 stars

5 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#1,539,377 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

It's probably appropriate this book kept me up all night, given that it's a memoir of the nightmare and waking horror story that Greg Gilhooly has been living for decades since he was sexually abused as a teenager. His story made me realize that we live among people like Gilhooly, whose lives have been shattered by past trauma, and who have managed in various ways to continue moving forward with their lives, with varying degrees of recovery. They might be high achievers (in some aspects of their lives), but they are still hurting inside and need our kindness and empathy.This book is well-written, with the kind of clarity, detail, logic and persuasiveness you'd expect from a lawyer. But in every paragraph, you can sense the damaged teen beneath the surface. I think the book's greatest strength is the way Gilhooly helps the reader see every event from two perspectives:1) through the eyes of the person he was when experienced the situation (e.g. as a teenager falling into the abuser's trap and as an adult trying, and sometimes failing, to recover from the trauma); and2) as the person he is now, having benefited from therapy and a great deal of self-reflection.I hope that Gilhooly continues to recover and find greater peace. I hope he continues to advocate for victims. I hope this book helps people who have suffered abuse break out of the box the abuser put them in. I hope many people read this book and take away its lessons about how to protect others from abuse and help people who have suffered trauma like this heal themselves.

It seems wrong to rate this book as "I love it." This is a brutally honest, heart wrenching story of the lifelong impact of child abuse and our failure as a society to appropriately address this issue and support the victims. Kudos to Greg Gilhooly for bearing his soul so completely and bravely and bringing us into the nightmare that haunted him for so long. And more kudos for speaking out now so that others may come out of the shadows and realize they are not alone and its not their fault. I read this as we in the U.S. struggle to address the moral failure of separating immigrant and asylum-seeking families and the understandable need to protect our borders and remain a nation of laws. Greg's story reminds us of the lifelong damage we can do to unsuspecting, innocent children.

Greg Gilhooly had it all. He was brilliant, a gifted athlete, a star student, a young boy on the cusp of adolescence. He was lined up for a wonderful life, that is, until he was repeatedly sexually abused by his hockey coach Graham James. Greg's life fell apart as he tried to cope with the guilt and the shame that now entered his young life.Graham James was and is a sexual predator. He knew exactly what buttons to push in a shy impressionable young boy. He infiltrated Greg's mind and stole his soul. He didn't stop just with Greg but continued abusing boys that he dealt with as a hockey coach. The boys didn't come forward. They, including Greg, were being convinced that this is what they deserved. Perhaps they were gay so this abuse had to be hidden, because of course being gay was not acceptable for those rough and tough hockey guys. James worked his way into the psyche of the young. He twisted things and made the boys believe that this was natural, that he cared, that he could do things for them, for their future, for the game they all loved to be part of. James was dirt, slime, and a predator and as Greg describes him, James was a shark.In this story, Greg describes for us the living hell and torment his life became as he blamed himself and thought he deserved it. He was a nobody right? Somehow, with all this living within Greg, being as brilliant and talented as he was, he was accepted into Princeton. He would have aced everything but, Greg would find ways to sabotage himself and kill off what could have been glorious future. After all, Greg was a nobody and deserved nothing. After graduating, Greg attended law school becoming an attorney whose future looked extremely bright. However, Greg again felt the pressure of the abuse. He was always carrying that around like a second skin. He was a nobody and nobodies deserved to fail. From here Greg went onto be a highly successful corporate attorney/businessman, but again the weight he carried, that albatross that flew beside him, convinced him he needed to fail for he was a nobody.Greg continued to battle daily and nightly when sleep would not come and the devil named Graham James reappeared and stole his life and his dreams. He gained weight, could not sleep, bounced around with the idea constantly of committing suicide, but something, an inner strength kept him going. He didn't even realize he had that strength, but thank god he did.When things started to come out about James, Greg could not come forward. He was still too ashamed, too much the nobody, too much the one who deserved what he got. However, as time passed Greg with help from many including doctors, friends, psychologists, and a slew of others, were able to find a way for Greg to not only confront the man who did this to him, but also learn that he, Greg was indeed valuable. He was not a nobody. He was a somebody. As he says at the end of this most poignant, courageous story, "I was a nobody. Coming out of the abuse I became nobody at all. But now I have come to believe that I am somebody, somebody with a future who can have a happy ending. Now, I am somebody. I am Greg Gilhooly."To Greg and all the victims of sexual abuse you are assuredly somebody and it was an honor to have read your book, Greg, and for a brief time witness your tragedies, your life, the wreckage that James left behind. But James didn't win. That shark, that predator did not win.Thank you to Greg Gilholly, the publisher, and edelweiss for the pleasure of allowing me to read and ARC of this most moving novel. I am and will be always in awe of Greg.

I couldn't put this book down. Greg has written a chilling, honest and heart-wrenching account of what it looks and feels like to suffer through abuse in silence. He's laid out for us what goes through the minds of innocent victims. The thought-patterns that leads to self-sabotage are so movingly rendered that I cried through most of the book. This should be required reading, not just for victims of sexual abuse, but for all who work with and/or have children. There are so many around us crying out for help, without words to express their feelings of false guilt, worthlessness and shame. Greg teaches us to read the tea leaves and shows us how to help. Thank you, Greg.

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